The Trial - by Trail and Tribulation 2

One of the Dungbeetle's Grizzly poems for 2013.

Listen; listen to the nervous hum of expectation
as you stand concealed
yet strangely revealed, at the starting line
waiting, just waiting, amidst the throng in simple, humbling trepidation
drawing deep upon your endurance-memory
to face the challenge; that of finding your own inner strength,
to pit yourself, against yourself, for miles of wrecking-pain
of self-imposed punishment and ecstacy
in naked faith - through wind and driving rain,
that you may overcome all this tortuous terrain.
Now - immersed in the crowded stillness of unknowing
in this peaceful moment of denial and concentration
just before your judgement time begins
- by trail and tribulation.

The clang of the starting bell
the roar of all-togetherness
of Be-longing to the one, exhilarating Grizzly family.
The rising of the dove above the spiral fossil
on feathered flight to guide you with the throng
the wheeling gulls, the skylark song
the different metaphors for you to notice;
I mean - really notice.
Then the deafening, hypnotic crunch of a thousand feet on shingle
the single-minded gasping breath
as your dying becomes your life with heart and lung intensity;
a glorious life-affirming act of living at the edge of the world.
Then, so soon - an unreasonable tiredness after only half a mile or so
already a strained smile reveals your uncertainty
so many daunting anxieties within such abundant plenty
and the fearful dawning of mixed emotions
heralding your final trial
- by trail and tribulation.

The constant chattering moments shared
with real friends you'll never see again
the laugh, the gasps, the distant, rumbling thunder
and the never-ending doubt
which tears your body and will asunder.
The conversations, jokes and always, always the running
that unrelenting urge to keep moving forwards
- away from the start, away from the start
always towards the as-yet un-imagined finish
the incredulity, the awe and the wonder
not just of the whole, throbbing experience
but also of the self-questioning; why this, why me, why here ?
but knowing deep within, that it was truly meant to be THIS Way ;
that all these sounds eventually shall fade away
leaving only your deep bed of in-dwelling silence
as it rises to meet you half way
as it dampens the mind's noisy speculation
during your fruitful, searching trial
- by trail and tribulation.

Yet the running and the struggling go on
never ending in their repetitious song
but now they do it by themselves
at last you have Become - simply the passenger, the observer
- carried forth in praise and desolation
through bog and briar
beach and beauty
by trickling stream and dreaming spire
immersed in salty dreams of deity and reciprocity
until the end emerges from the sculptured scenery
until your mind is conquered by itself
and all there is - is Now and a hearty, cleansing congratulation
back to where your trial began, many hours ago
- by trail and tribulation.

© Dave Kelf, 2013